I messed up, I lost them
by Who dunit why I dunit
Summary: Remus and Dora are both in pain. Both thinking they hate each other. Will Remus's little known Goddaughter be able to bring them back together?


DORAS P.O.V

Life, its crazy how things don't go how you plan right? How it looks so perfect on paper or on your head, but it blows up in your face once its put to the test. Love is the same as far as Im concerned. Life and Love both hate me. They make me fall in love with the one person who would never love me but then took it out from under me. Then she brought it back, made him see how much I loved him, and that I don't care.

This time with him, I hope that he and I get it right, even if he was almost threatened with staying with me. I know he loves me but that daft old man, even if I don't want to admit it, hates to admit it. Hates to admit he loves me.

Ive tried to keep him with me, but even when Im pregnant with his own child he leaves, maybe he doesn't like me, I sigh.

When he came back, I opened my arms and he came back to me.

Even if a bit reluctantly, at lest he came back.

"Remus?" I asked him as we laid in bed. "Yes Nymphadora?" he said back. "Did she have to tell you to come back?" He sucked in a breath, I could tell he was hesitating.

"No, she didn't, Harry did, called me a coward…" He turned me over so I could look in his face. "But you want to know something, he was right. I am a coward."

I shook my head. "No your not, no one like you could be a coward." Im trying to get him to relize all hes done, not just for me, but for others.

"Im sorry Dora but." I reared up on the bed looking down at him. "No buts, Remus. You are the bravest man Ive ever met! No matter what I will always love you! Ive tried to get over you and that didn't work! I cant not love you!" I cried at him, tears already spilling from my eyes.

I was crying, I damned him, he was supposed to love me, why did I always love the ones that would never love me?

I finally figured it out, he'd never love me.

He came back because of her, and then because I was pregnant with his child. He came back because he was forced.

Why did I find this out now?

I ran out of time.

I thought we could last, when I first met him, he was possibly the first older person that saw me and didn't see me as a freak in factr besides my uncle Sirius was the second.

I met him when I was five, he was seventeen, Remus doesn't remember but I do.

He liked my hair and since then Ive been in love with him.

All it took to bring us down, was him not loving me. And then leaving me.

He hesitated, torn between comforting me and turning away, I don't know, I left right then before he could take even my pride away from me.

I ran out of our house, appariated to Hayley's she got him to come back. She was the greatest person I knew, even if she was my cousin.

I knocked on her door. "Enter Dora, I know its you." Yeah she did, probely used Legimency on me.

There stood Hayley.

"I finally figured it out, he never did love me." I cried as I flew into the younger girls arms. "Shush, shush, Dora, stop crying, he does love you."

"Then why does he act like he hates me, and leaves me! Everytime we get to the best part, he leaves me! What did I do to deserve this!" I cried as she pushed me onto the couch.

My father always told me these stories fairytales gone wrong.

My favorite was Beauty and the Beast. Because the Beast in the end got the girl. Seems apporiate at times like this, with Remus and I. But Id never thought Id be living the fairy tale.

If I am, I hope we get a happy ending.

So what do I do, suck it up, and live in a one-sided marriage, like so many of my mothers family?

Or do I leave him for good, and only see him when he sees our child? And regret the day that I left him?

Will he even let me back after I left him?

Is he happy that I left, relieved?

Or is he as miserable as I am?

With those thoughts I feel asleep, Hayley tucking me in. Tears still etching their salt filled way down my cheeks.

REMUS'S P.O.V.

I watched her leave, thinking it was for the best that she left. But my heart breaking none the less. I didn't want to leave her, but with her being what I am, I couldn't not leave her. Now she's shunned just like me.

A beautiful women like her shunned, I cant do that to her, she deserves more.

More then me.

Maybe now shes finally figured that out.

I cant let her live her life, knowing she could have had better, she was an angel, brought light to my dark life, but I cant let her stay that way.

I cant ruin her life anymore. Because if I did Id hate my self.

The door rang. I got up and answered it.

For being my goddaughter she could throw a punch.

She hit me right in the jaw and I went backward.

I guess Dora went to her. "You are one right git. I give up. I only came here to tell you your wife is crying about how you don't love her. I tried I honestly tried to tell you, you right bastard, that she loved you, and she always will. So go make yourself useful and die!" She said as she stomped out.

My only thought as I got up and ran out of the house was 'Why? I do love her!'

My goddaughter is stuble I'll be the first to admit that, but she never punched unless she wanted something done.

I ran up to her house. "Finally in the guest room. Hurt her Remus and I kill you." Hayley said as she opened the door and pushed me towards Doras room. 'Have I finally ran out of time?' I thought as I rushed in the room.

When I first met her, she was Sirius kid cousin.

Sure she was pretty, but Sirius made it clear, unless she came to me first that I wasn't allowed to touch her.

He loved her and his daughter a lot I guess.

Even if he barely knew his daughter.

I thought about the first time we kissed, just after she found out I was a werewolf, she didn't care.

I should have listened to her, it might have ended differently.

Now I doubt she even wants me around.

If she doesn't want me, I'll have to leave, I cant force her to be with me, the same way I couldn't force her to not love me.

'I only have me to blame, I let you get away didn't I Dora?' I thought as I ran into the room.

She was on the bed sniffling. I walked over lied down next to her and wrapped her in my arms. "Nymphadora Lupin. I do love you. I know your probely not going to let me back. But I just want you to know I love you."

She sniffed and cuddled into me, 'She must not hate me then.' thought as I pulled her closer.

Just then she started muttering at me angerliy. "I hate that I love you so much. How you made me weak. I hate it. But I love you, so damn much." I sighed. "Some days I fear Im going to wake up, and find you never existed." She sobbed into my chest.

I sighed and put my nose to her hair breathing in her scent.

Probely the last time I ever would.

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A/N: I own nothing, exept Hayley. Please review? Next chapter is will be better then this. I promise!


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